Darling Nikki's Room (Paradox-like thoughts, of a non practicing nympho...)

The Nikki DaVinci Code

If you've been following me a while then I know you've been waiting for my book. It took me a while to get around to this post but The Nikki DaVinci Code is here:

You can grab the Hardcopy or download the kindle version to mac, PC's, blackberry, iPhone and androids.

Welcome to my world

A beautiful mess

I want to suck suck suck..
succumb to you,
no I'm not familiar,
but bring on your pillars
Delilah.
we can scratch holes in the sky call them stars
solicit this all black everything.
like the reaper handing wedding rings.
your nails playing tic tac toe down my back
where x marks the spot
and theres no safe word,
so we never stop...
I don't want to be safe from your lust
In fact I want to be near when that boiler busts..
wide open..
I was hoping
I was invited.
and maybe even deep off inside it..
cause love ain't a train but if it was I would come on and ride it..
You wanna teach me a lesson,
you think that I am so young..
but I'm taking your pain,
your teeth on my tongue
cranberry kisses,
your teeth could puncture my lungs..
and I still wouldn't say stop til your moans worthily sung
I have never succumb
but I know you're a seasoned vet...
my shirt would be stained..if a heart could get wet..
it's all bets off
you can have my sins,
my body,
my breath..
don't miss my heart
when those heels walk my chest..
make of me..
a beautiful mess..

Afterglow

I wondered…

had you thought of me?

the swell of my hips you pulled close,

your lips wrapped in my teeth,

and how you looked right through me..

the wall behind me burned with my imprint,

the lingering bits of your scent,

cascading down my chest,

your mouth on my my open mouth,

mouthing promises before foundation..

I was waiting..

waiting for your solace to feed this hollow,

and we bathed each other in tongues,

I watched our shadows..

the bow of your back almost bent to gravitys end

as I dug deep into you… seeking soul,

loss of control,

untainted by life, untainted by lies,

untainted,

you came like the wind blows,

came through,

and I handed you blues,

heart abused, bruised, cruised and looked over..

handed you all the weight I had shouldered,

and you kissed,

kissing your way down my bodys subway,

went underground..

and we played between trains..

played dangerous,

played… will you remember me..?

and hips rocked steadily,

pumping need into each other,

waiting for the light,

the ever coming light, the bright of it

a pinprick in the distances dark,

the light of bursting open hearts,

the crash impending, I surrender..

speechlessness you now have rendered

but my moans, sighs, thoughts go wild with worry

world collapsing into a mass all blurry,

train against my skin..

takes me where I’ve been wanting to go…

beyond the crooked halo..

beyond what everyone thinks that they know..

and I bathe in your afterglow..

Falling up..

The walls are closing in

And I want to be enclosed,

By her closing saccharine

The sweetest divide,

Hide from the world in your grandest canyon,

You are my cerulean woman,

Amongst all these motherf*cking blues…

And I won’t die but I’ll break

If you asked me too,

In my chests left cell..

Walls closing in,

Like some cubicle,

Some corporate hell..

And I want to dive deeper in

To feel you swell..

In that area where pride emanates,

And I love the way you elicit feelings of hate..

Make me want you, then need you,

Then ask me to wait..

I want to tear down your walls..

Self imposed dark

To cater to the lips of your heart,

Let me feed you the last of my light,

Did my naivety taste good at first bite?

Here I am..

In all my naked,

But you don’t want it

If you can’t take it..

So I’ll cry out if it pleases you,

Tie me if it pleases you..

Lie to me if it

…

Must I continue..

we are each others favorite sound,

my screaming, and your breathings

what keeps our love above ground

but where will you be

when it all falls

Merry to go round..

Stiletto chiming heels down my minds hall,

Door knobs turning,

I have a burning desire to grab you

And tell you you’re mine,

Such a fine representation of my fantasies,

And I love the way our love

Is wrapped up in fallacies…

It’s true…

Because nothing so illusory as love can be real,

Without the elements of fiction it steals,

BUT I want you to be real,

Real enough to

Make me come…

to realizations,

And I lose patience,

When your tides, they rise and they fall,

You are my lovers ghost,

Replaced only by what I supposed,

And I want to have your mouth,

Can I have your mouth?

Take your lips and place them where they can settle

On territory that is not theirs,

And leaving me shaking in the darkness,

Phantom orgasms

The wetness challenging the sheets,

To saturate

And there is no sating,

No fullness, no completion,

Just have you, need you, want you, breathe you,

Then some soul eclipse..

Deletion

I want to be inside your throat like sound,

Mouth gagged,

So to me you are bound,

You are my consummate merry go round

And I want to ride you until your brakes screech their pain..

And the faces,

Their colors go plain,

My stomach filled with the tension

And fear of spinning that’s like jumping from the top..

That eventually your love will

finally reach it's

STOP.

Kiss and Tell

Trail my mouth down her body,

Or hers, or HERS…

Whoever I’m touching

When I’m making love,

I know I make you wonder,

Because you stay ear to my business,

My business.

And who’s caught up in silence,

Or screamed themselves orgasm sticky..

Wondering who

Is climbing up Nikki.

And when she made me explode

Last time,

I could feel my pulse between my thighs,

Quicker than cells can divide..

The thump thump thumping,

Like emotions humping fully clothed,

Satisfaction,

Only a fabric away,

And I’m stitched up and through your skin,

As deeply embedded as melanin

And sin..

All the while there’s so much supposing,

Begging for disclosing,

All the while feelings growing,

Your stalkings become weary,

I know you want to taste the taste of her

Whoever it is that I’m kissing,

I’m usually loving someone

Someone else is missing,

MIA affections,

Forgive my heart its transgressions,

And it’s sweaty lovemaking sessions,

Shouts clinging to the ceiling all night,

Heartbeats seen through chests

What a sight..

Cause I know you want to know how I do what I do when it’s done..

Want to know how many or few have gotten my tongue,

But cats laughing, she’s won..

I don’t kiss and tell,

Not for you…

Or anyone…

Loving you is easy because I'm not sober

This morning I got up before you and the sun, had you for breakfast..

With a side of sad to go with your warm..

Your stroke is like midnight,

Chiming,

12 times til you hit pussy rock bottom,

And then come up my throat,

I don’t want to walk over your coat,

Let the puddles be of my need,

I want to feed off the hotness of your breath,

Blood coursing to the center of me,

Is that you baby behind my eyes?

In my mind, our shadows made love a thousand times

Screamed my voice silent like mimes...

And I commit to you,

My favorite crime.

Stealing..

In the night hours

Stealing across time and space to meet you

For up against the wall f*cks

Proudly call loves bluff,

Cause it feels too damn good when you’re rough

To call it anything but..

L.U.S.T.

And love peeks over shoulders to watch while touching itself,

I know it's not in my hands but my mouth that you melt..

I swallow you no chaser

Burn throats, bitter as scotch,

I yearn for everything but

YOUR LOVE

Because...

I know what your love does,

See I can be your krypto,

Baby I can be your nite,

I can be your wrong

That feels so motherf*cking right..

Cause my tongue is as long as my mind...

Said I can put your life on what feels like rewind...

Feel young again... I've got the time

Slip into something more comfortable,

And comfortables my name…

Make it hurt because I’m craving you..

And all your bottled love

Labeled pain

CASSAndra-NOVA

I fuck karma on her side to keep her off my back,

And when she leaves those blood red scratches,

I go deep until she’s out cold.. black..

Midway..

Beg her to pipe down,

Cause when you’re around, she yells louder,

And truth is the sex is so good

Can’t be without her..

Spread her with the intent to break her back

Like unfinished wood,

And in two I’m splitting,

All the while forgetting,

She might have other work to do..

I see her inside you,

Behind your eyes,

Replaying your sins,

And the cinematic affect has gotten the best..

Best of me,

Coughed up some silence

Labeled truth,

There’s nothing I can say to you,

Oh Cassanova,

Rather Cassandra…

You’re got rose buds for all the girls ears

Just want to breathe you in my atmosphere,

Some sweet ether

Making of my lungs, virgin

The inhalation of you collapsing them

In a pain I’ve come to need..

The feeling of you like the first breath after heartbreak..

Breathed..

Black widow

Sunshine kisses your ears orange in the morning after,

Tears remind me of your tickled laughter,

Sweet coos sounding off like roman candles,

Some surprise deadly color for you,

Open my hands..

And my heart boasts a thousand loves

Times over,

Lives over,
the intricacy of them a well weaved web

Of seduction,

Cursed to bring out their dark bodied,

Words of poison,

Spit venom called truth in those who weren’t ready,

Hands held steady in the smothering,

Who is holding the pillow now?,

I crave your asphyxiation anyhow,

And I mouth words, like ouch

When it’s hurting me lovely,

I tell you to stop when I can’t get enough see..

Can I be the crime you’re nibbling?

Arsenic behind ears,

Leave your mouth dribbling,

Words that don’t make sense,

We aren’t too much different,

Strike before we are stricken,

And when my love hits your veins,

Your blood thickens…

Pull you to my lips, so you have to focus,

Listen..

Listen to my breathy words

Kissing your nose,

I told you to take off your clothes..

Take off your f*cking clothes,

I want to bathe you

And make love before it’s over…

When I say over I mean through,

Did I say over?.. I slipped..

I didn’t mean over for me,

But for you..

Jessica Rabid

Oh miss Jessica,

Miss Jessica…

Rabbit of my most rabid desires…

Curves that bite back when I’m biting,

Lightning fast reaction, skin flushes red as your dress,

Temperature forgetting to adhere to worldly measures,

Caution thrown to tornados, let alone winds,

Winds can’t begin

To fathom, the desperation,

Of having desire and being plagued with impatience

Cause as Alicia would say it,

You don’t know my name,

But you’re beginning to fathom it..

And rather than take your time you’re itching,

And I want to leave those scarlet scratches,

That leave stains on your thirsty mattress,

Love is priceless,

And yes is gratis

I want to lay in your hair,

In our juxtaposing smells,

While we bang each others brains, off beat like frequencies catching static,

Body’s bumpin and grinding til morning like rabbits..

And you’ve got body, ooo

You’ve got body..

Won’t you warm my face with your thighs?

Let me be the coffee to swallow your cream… er..

Be the one who swallows your thoughts and tell you your dreams or,

Tell your conscience I will be your redeemer,

While I tiptoe your hearts mental streams

and lick you until you know that I mean..

business..

Miss Jessica,

Rabbit of sorts..

I want down the rabbit hole..

Want things beyond my own control..

Want deep inside your torrid soul..

Seduction of the Jellyfish

Let me kill you…

Not softly, cause my names not lauryn,

But without mercy and make you painfully lay there enduring,

The during, the before and the after,

The laughter off lips that mate us for life,

Let me lay you in my heart tentacles,

Venomous and yet home to so few,

You can love here,

And I can love you…

But I don’t want you to thrive,

Heartbeat pumping blood to remain this alive,

Said I want to end it, for you..

Not massacre, nothing so insanely beautiful,

We can get close up in the dark

And wrestle to the death,

I want to pin you naked,

Conquer you

Until your spirit comes,

Orgasms fit for a queen,

Stretch you to each corner of the bed,

We can cut lovely,

F*ck roughly,

Your pretty lips look good bit hard,

Don’t be afraid, disregard

Your fight or flight,

Cause tonight..

I want to thrill you..

Watch your senses dance when blindfolded,

Push secrets into your mouth,

Tell time you won’t be where you told it,

Cause I want to kill you,

With your own hands round your throat,

Want you to participate,

Not just partake in the show..

Lay you out slow,

Hurts not so bad sweet lady..

I’m not your baby,

Your come home too type of lover,

Lost inside each other,

But I can make you get lost,

Feels like you’ve gone missing

From your body,

When I’m kiss kiss, kissing,

I’ve got your heart inside my hands

And don’t you understand?

Your vulnerable is delicious

Sweetly ferocious,

My need something vicious,

I want to play asphyxiation

Be patient..

Maybe I’ll let you leave…

Love the moments,

When you’re fighting to breathe,

My asthmatic,

I’m your inhaler,

Love to inhale her…

I take you to pieces,

Then I sew you up call me tailor..

Cause I want my hands around your neck,

You’re my favorite train wreck

Come hither,

Want to see you break open,

In fact I was hoping I could

Split you wide,

Up down motions,

Thought I told you,

These are menacing oceans,

There’s no safe in my lair…

I want to hurt you bad..return favors

Come close if you dare..

Girl 6 (Promises)

If your lover is silence,

How can you cry out?

I lay your eyes on my lips,

Rest your fingertips..

Electrified by the touching you do

Without touching,

Your words slither down my throat

As I repeat them back to the wind.

Serpent green down my neck,

How did you perfect seduction?

My brains erection,

Suffering priapism,

And my liquid outpourings on pages.

Soul jism.

And all I can do is listen,

To the dial tone on my end,

Lip service delivering pleasure

That split skies open in rain,

And rectify notions that love must be pain

I lay awake chanting words you’ve said

So the falsified promises you bred

Won’t run track outside my head..

And the contact, is divine,

Said when you intersect my heart lines,

My back bends like parabola,

Was never too fond of mathematics,

But how many times will make me your addict?

Break mirrors with fists, cause only I am to blame,

I push my thoughts in so deep,

You’re left crying like your name is shame..

And I lick the tears of your insane…

Hoping to keep you inside me..

In vain

The redeemer

Don’t want to be your lover,

Said your lover

Needs too many wiles

Too many nights forcing smiles,

Bearing you heart fruit,

I’m with child,

Immaculately producing truths,

To feed you..

I can bear no more,

Said these weeping willow branches are wore

With your needs,

Your, if you can’t be’s

I’ll find someone else,

You break me with stealth,

Professing forevers,

When you’re imagining nevers

And you’re chasing whomever

Is this weeks flavor,

When my creole has New York,

And my new york,

Can take you to manhattan and back

Welcome to the heart of my city,

And my city breathes streetcorner dreams

Along with my west indie seams..

I can make you cough up Guyana,

In one swift motion,

We cross land and ocean

And all your hoping all your groping

For another meets its final destination,

But I…

Don’t want to be your lover,

In fact my baggage has bags,

And my heart is jetlagged,

Come too far and too long,

To find you wining and dining another..

When you’ve already been knee deep

In the pit of true loves significant other..

And had the lover to

Dissipate all other lovers

No I don’t want to be your lover

Your lover needs too many wiles..

One day you’ll see

What you had all the while

love slave

I was an apparition fading fast

When you cast shadow,

Other side of the moon bearing your prints.

I thought you were different..

Different,

I low key thought maybe I’d summoned

Some Venus

Some flower

Of unknown genus

I whispered tears into your palms

To cure the ash of centuries untouched by true love

And you made my breath catch like a criminal turning himself in

Voluntarily afraid

The crying got confused between sad and outward for lust

And I crushed myself in your heart pages.

Hoping you’d know me as your lover ageless

Still you aren’t sated

And all that’s fated

Is in pencil

I hope you are gentle in your leaving.

Cause all that want, it turned into needing

And I find it hard to be breaking and breathing

Concurrently

I collapse in your stratosphere,

And otherworldly languages crawl off elongated tongues

I become slave

Just to feel your lungs release on me..

Hurts like it should bleed

And I need..

The you that’s become part of me

We are closeted,

Our skeletons deep..

And the key swallowed..

Time pulls you close,

But our love bears tides..

We flow in the wetness of

Emaciated eyes

I find myself midnight listening for the train..

To take me to your far too worn bed..

Posts bearing secrets that walls have turned backs upon

And touches held dormant so eternally long..

create screams that turn whispers come dawn.

Poker Face

I lay shell shocked,

The aftermath crawling up my neck

And the hairs there bare lip prints,

The skilled endurance

Of my hearts insurance,

Says you’re not deductible,

Seduction coils at the base of my bed,

And I appear behind your glasses,

Words that turned a heart that went hard

Flaccid

Crawl between your hair and neck

To count down your vertebrae,

If I know you better than you,

Maybe it’ll force you to stay..

Temperature settles to cold,

Where your hand baring spades,

Begs me to fold,

And yet I’ll always have

My poker face.

queen of hearts

You and all your collecting beauties sh*t,

I grow as weary as a whore is of sucking dicks.

The slick spit of my secrets held taut for displaying

Wondering who the f*ck you’re laying,

Slaying dragons darling,

Don’t you make dreams come true..?

Make all the girls sings your blues..

And foolishly ooo yes foolish I am,

Here for the wham bam thank you ma’am

Labeled loving,

Here for the drugging..

And your roofie was unnecessary,

Weary footed wonders,

To match the falling blunder..

I was going to trip on your pseudo heart

Whether or not you asked me to play the part

Of joker,

To your queen of hearts..

Town crier warned me, still

I had to get my fill of you..

Swallowed all your red,

Left my indent in your bed,

Cried before the sunlight bled..

Its way into the sky,

And it felt so right..

To collapse into your charm..

That I wanted to die.. in your warm.

a blues for...

Your silence crushes eardrums,

Strummed melodically,

I find myself

Killed soft..

The theory of loves relativity,

Defined in your fingernail

The ridges of them decked with small white spots of me,

And my many dreams of

Your cinnamon love

And your sax..

Yes I mean your sax..

You saxophone voice derivation,

Left my heartbeat limping to your syncopation.

And I was in that room, labeled waiting.

Hoping my name would be called

Hours in I found you sleeping on us,

Imagined my loved somehow rusted,

And all of the love and all of the lust it..

Came together in anger,

And my soul combusted.

Colored only

Compose

And I devoured your tint..

Said I devoured your tint..

Hoping I could survive off melanin,

The pigment like some oil well to Africa..

My hair kinks with the sweat of your love..

I take your temperature with my tongue

Your clavicle jutting proud..

Love disguised as lust preciously

Devoured your beautiful lies

Pomegranate stained lips to caress me into thinking

It is summer..

And that your warm is free

There you are,

Lipstick on the collar of my dreams..

Every time I try to fall,

You send me running back into me..

And you are lacking lust….

er …

maybe I’m trying to say baby where’s your shine?

Where’d your shine go?

Chasing lovers..

Chasing others..

Moon light beaten on the ground..

eyes that blink with sound..

I devoured your tint..

Said I devoured it when..

I knew your I love yous were not meant..

Hoping time will be kind

When a corridor in an unfamiliar place

Holds remnants of your scent..

And I reach out a hand

to find I am tanned

with your loves melanin..